Can you see me?

In 1 Samuel, God finds David, a man after his own heart. He told the prophet for whom the book is named " the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (16:7). Recently, God has allowed me to experience several challenges which have brought this to life. It inspired me to write the following:

Invisibly Visible by Amon Dobbins

When you see me, do you see me, or

Do you know me before you know me

Am I a mystery worthy of mental and conversational excavation, or

Or am I just another set of behaviors for your statistics?

Can I ever truly be free from preconceived notions?

Not in this life.

What kind of programming causes us both to think we know everything

About one another without stopping to talk?

What makes you believe that I’m the exception instead of the rule?

I’m the rule in my circles.

Maybe the problem with a circle is that it always returns to itself

As opposed to reaching out.

But that’s risky, I’m liable to get my hand chopped off

But what if I don’t? What if I reach out and someone actually grasps my hand

Am I ready to grasp back, or will I recoil into my circle.

What if I reach out and grab on and that hand begins to pull me away from my circle

Will my circle pull back or give me up as a social casualty?

Can I bridge the gap, or will I be ripped apart?

The danger of choosing sides is that one side’s always the villain.

The danger with being neutral is that you become the villain to both sides.

Well, at least they agree on something.

Is it wrong I don’t care that I don’t care about not caring?

I do care about truth, about relationship, about sharing a God engineered adventure with like-minded people.

The more time you spend with different people, the more you realize that you really don’t know someone,

Until you really know someone.

If you really want to get to know someone

Take on a project together, play them in a game, talk about their dreams,

You may not like them, but at least it’s based on something.

What makes the Truth that God created each of us to be in a faultless, guiltless, relationship with Him so hard to accept?

If we have an open conversation about God will we accept the ramifications of the facts and revelation as Divine Truth?

Agreeing to disagree sucks, if there’s truth and I don’t accept it, keep arguing.

The Truth is neither subjective nor debatable; rather our perception of the Truth, at least that’s how I see it.

Let it Go

Man, it's been a minute. Gotta make more time to write. I feel led to talk about a move of God that's coming up. God is calling His children to a higher level of self-discipline. Especially His sons. He is coming for his families and want His sons to step up and become the Spiritual heads of their families. Including me. I admit, I've been slacking (note the last blog entry). I've allowed my flesh to dictate what I do instead of what the Spirit dictating what my flesh should do.

This has resulted in my eating habits getting out of hand, occasional bouts of drunkeness and pornography peeping. Shameful for a so-called man of God. Perhaps worse than all this, though, I have not spent regular time engaging my family in Bible study, even at my wife's and children's requests.

I would look around and see them doing different things, and even when God's Spirit prompted me, I excused myself from having them stop what they were doing, as well as me stopping what I was doing, to sit and dive into God's word.

I had bouts of occasional study, but nothing consistent. After last night, this will change.

Last night, I called a Bible study. I started off tense and kind of chaotic. We began doing sword drills: calling out random verses to see who could find them first and then read them. While that was going on, our old, broken camcorder began making weird noises, my daughter had to use the bathroom, my youngest son kept talking about Legos and Star Wars, my wife and I had a disagreement about the flow of the Bible study, and my oldest son got fed up and walked out of the room.

We almost gave up. Then God showed up. After having a heart to heart about what we wanted from our Bible study, and how we talk to each other, it became clear to me that my wife and I had not communicated clearly about what we wanted for our children, so we decided as a family how we wanted to do our Bible study.

We would start with sword drills, just for fun, but then focus on a verse or lesson from the Bible. Well that's what we did. I had a verse that I wanted everyone in the family to memorize:

1 Peter 2:15 "For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorance of foolish men."

That's a foundational verse, but the most powerful verse came from my youngest son, who was the last to share.

God led him to : Isaiah 49:15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!"

We then talked about times we feel all alone, even in a family. The Spirit then led me to an activity. We each took turns telling each member of the family what we appreciated about them. IT WAS POWERFUL! Hearing words of encouragement, love, and honor from each other melted a lot of hostility, irritation, and distance that had built up between us.

My wife cried, my daughter cried, my youngest son laughed and cried, my oldest son and myself BARELY made it tear-free.

The lesson is MEN, lead your families in the word. You don't have to be ordained, trained, or perfect, you just have to be willing to call for it, pray about it, and lead it.

Hey Fam,

I'm back and less than one month later.  Nice!  I thought I'd talk a little about God's seasons of planting (sowing) and harvesting (reaping).  My family is currently in a season of both.  We are currently harvesting the blessings of the seeds of obedience in home schooling, limiting our debt, pursuing avenues of helping at-risk students (for me), and persistently placing God in the middle of our marriage and family relationships.  

God has blessed us with a new-to-us van, a new position at work for me, two children ( a rising Sophomore in College and a rising Sophomore in High School) who excelled academically, a new career path for my wife, and the favor and respect of friends and colleagues.  We are truly rich.  

Proverbs 10:22 says "The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it."

This passage encourages us all because it says that when God blesses us, we don't have to look over our shoulders for God to take it back.

T.D. Jakes said that "Favor ain't fair"  and we may experience some negativity from jealous outsiders when God blesses us, but those fiery darts cannot lessen what God has for us.

I boast in the Lord only because He alone pored out this magnitude of positive STUFF on my family, even though we all strayed from His path at times.   He is truly AWESOME.

Look at your own life.  How has God blessed/honored your obedience in some areas?

Next time, we'll talk about the parable of the sower and the importance of sowing the right seed in the right soil to reap the righteous harvest.

Peace,

Amon

The Rough Side of the Mountain

Hello Fam,

Recently, God has taken me through a study that has led me to the realization that living an authentic Christian life means losing some battles.  There are going to be times when we fail miserably, are lied about, deceived, and disappointed, as well as times when we lie, deceive, and disappoint others.  

So what's the proper response to these experiences?  Throw up our hands in frustration and remove ourselves from the human adventure?  Perhaps we should become bitter and judgmental, expecting little or nothing from others.  A look at the word may help put this in perspective.

Jesus says "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake.  Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great in your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11-12.

This sounds crazy!  How can being lied about and punished for nothing result in a blessing?  How could it possibly be a good thing?  

Physically, and emotionally these things are not pleasant.  They hurt, they damage, they break down, but if we press into God's Goodness at these low times, and focus on His example of how to deal with these types of people (remember as he was being tortured and KILLED from false accusations He prayed for THEIR salvation and THEIR forgiveness) we begin to learn something:

God is bigger than other people's pettiness.  God's purposes for our lives go way beyond the emotional pain caused by others.  So forgive them, let them off the hook so that you can focus on the good work God has planned for you.  We cannot focus both on the pain we fell and the pure, free, merciful, Glory of God Almighty.

When you have a hard time letting  others off the hook, think of a time when you were the cause of someone else's pain, heartbreak, downfall, or stumbling.  How did you feel.   What did you want more than anything?  Forgiveness perhaps?  

Hey Fam.

It's been a while.  Easter has got my head spinning because I'm realizing that Jesus really allowed Himself to be TORTURED and to DIE for sins He never committed.  He WILLINGLY chose the path of the cross, and for what?

For who might be a better way of thinking about everything.  What kind of God would allow His only son to suffer so greatly?  What might God have thought or felt at that time?  Why didn't God Almighty simply reset the whole sin/death thing and give us a full pardon?  Why does it take blood to wash away sin?

A quick look at Genesis Chapter 3 tells us God's original intentions for our relationship: perfect communion and harmony.  It was our choice to look away from God and to assume that our wants surpassed God's commands that messed everything up.  But still, why blood?

Here are some quick blood facts:

1. Blood is the fluid that circulates in a  person's heart, arteries, capillaries and veins 
2. Blood carries nourishment and oxygen to all parts of the body
3. Blood takes waste products from all parts of the body.
   
4. Blood carries the antibodies that protect our bodies from disease and infection
5. Blood is a connective tissue

Now, I won't get to crazy with this, but let it be known that blood is truly the life force of the physical body.  Without blood, our bodies would become so polluted that we would kill ourselves by our own waste products.  Blood = Life,  Life = Blood.  The issue then becomes, how pure is our blood.  I don't mean "racially" or genetically, but purity wise.  How many sicknesses, infections, and microscopic pathogens do we carry in our blood stream from day to day?

Sin is like having a body with infected blood flowing through it.  Sin is lethal.  In order to live, we must have a blood transfusion.  Jesus' blood is pure, life giving, strong, untainted, healthy.  By shedding His blood, we are able to allow His life into our own.  His good blood begins to reproduce within us and make us whole.  His blood brings in the Holiness of the Father, and takes out the infection of our sin-cursed humanity.

It's a slow process, but if we continue to allow His purity into our Spiritual veins, and avoid going back to the diseased, putrid, infected injections of Sin, then there's really help for us all.

God could not have enjoyed watching His only son's torture, humiliation, and murder, but He loved us enough to allow it so that we could be pure enough to relate to Him again.

The Change

Hey Fam,

Okay, so it's been more than a week. Please forgive me. Back to the details. I wrestled with the rift in my life caused by my willful sins. Not just porn, but lust in general, false pride, and chronic selfishness.

As I continued through life, all my relationships with others became tainted with my sinfulness. I dealt with it by numbing my pain with marijuana, but when I became a teacher, I began to really worry. Would my lust cause me to enter into a relationship with a student that would ruin me? Would I show up high at a school event and get fired? Would I allow fear to push me out of education?

My life of sin, my disconnection from God had caused me to doubt my own decision making ability. After all, I had done what I KNEW was wrong for so long, how could I suddenly just turn around and DO right? Then God took me to Ephesians 1:4-5. I read,

"For God chose you, in Christ, BEFORE THE CREATION OF THE WORLD to be HOLY and BLAMELESS before Him. In LOVE He predestined me to be ADOPTED as His SON."

Really? So I'm not supposed to be this fearful, weak willed, slave to sin? God doesn't delight in judging me, telling me my faults, and being irratated with my constant lack of faith? Not according to this passage. I was never CREATED to be stuck in sin.

I meditated upon this truth every day. I read it aloud to myself as I looked into my eyes in a mirror. At first, I laughed at the ridiculousness of it, but slowly, my voice gave way to God's voice, and I began to hear Him say it. That changed everything. Thoughts?

Okay,

I told you I'd let you know how I know how much Ephisian 1:5-4 could change your life. Here's part one. Let me give you a little back ground info. I grew up in constant conflict between myself and God. The root of the conflict flowed from my early exposure to pornography. When I was 5, my brother and I found a magazine which showed a couple "in the act." I felt dirty, nauseated, and excited all at once. My perception of the relationships between males and females changed foundationally, and profoundly on that day. The impact of this event may be better understood through the stanzas of a poem I wrote:


Identity Crisis
Copy written 2002 D.A.W.G. International Publishing\
Inspired by Jehovah, told through Amon Dobbins

Once had a heart cold as ice, my soul was spliced and twisted.
I believed the world’s lies, didn’t realize I’s spiritually gifted.

Blinded by dimes who’s tight, focused far from Christ
Still cried, “God when will this curse be lifted?”

In ’01 prophecy came from a woman of God, she spoke life into my dead brain pod,
‘cause she saw the inner man more clearly than the homiez in my squad.

She said, “Inner powder keg of joy will destroy the sick ploys of the enemy.”
I was satan’s toy as a boy, but now see that snake ain’t a friend to me.

Focus spent on free chicks, mind spent off splits all these tricks
He spent on me

But when Blood of Christ washed ill from my life, I slowly stopped living trife,
And now I’m a gentle me.

No more a broken man, though my soul began in filth God set me free

Back then, sin crept in amidst weed smoke and D.L. grins
Lust popped up early, and I sexed my first girlie at the age of 10

No way to process that emotional mess, inhibition digress till I sat emotionless.

The mental torment of lusting after fleshly things, and keeping myself menatly, spiritually, and physically clean in honor of my relationship with God was tearing me apart. It was not until I was almost 30 years old that I came to a crossroads with God. Ephesians 1:4-5 played a major role in it. I'll finish this next week.