Okay,

I told you I'd let you know how I know how much Ephisian 1:5-4 could change your life. Here's part one. Let me give you a little back ground info. I grew up in constant conflict between myself and God. The root of the conflict flowed from my early exposure to pornography. When I was 5, my brother and I found a magazine which showed a couple "in the act." I felt dirty, nauseated, and excited all at once. My perception of the relationships between males and females changed foundationally, and profoundly on that day. The impact of this event may be better understood through the stanzas of a poem I wrote:


Identity Crisis
Copy written 2002 D.A.W.G. International Publishing\
Inspired by Jehovah, told through Amon Dobbins

Once had a heart cold as ice, my soul was spliced and twisted.
I believed the world’s lies, didn’t realize I’s spiritually gifted.

Blinded by dimes who’s tight, focused far from Christ
Still cried, “God when will this curse be lifted?”

In ’01 prophecy came from a woman of God, she spoke life into my dead brain pod,
‘cause she saw the inner man more clearly than the homiez in my squad.

She said, “Inner powder keg of joy will destroy the sick ploys of the enemy.”
I was satan’s toy as a boy, but now see that snake ain’t a friend to me.

Focus spent on free chicks, mind spent off splits all these tricks
He spent on me

But when Blood of Christ washed ill from my life, I slowly stopped living trife,
And now I’m a gentle me.

No more a broken man, though my soul began in filth God set me free

Back then, sin crept in amidst weed smoke and D.L. grins
Lust popped up early, and I sexed my first girlie at the age of 10

No way to process that emotional mess, inhibition digress till I sat emotionless.

The mental torment of lusting after fleshly things, and keeping myself menatly, spiritually, and physically clean in honor of my relationship with God was tearing me apart. It was not until I was almost 30 years old that I came to a crossroads with God. Ephesians 1:4-5 played a major role in it. I'll finish this next week.